Basement Chronicles

Karma Wow

"Math problem, need you, need you now."

I watched the movie Memento last night. Crazy. Crazy crazy. I loved it, though. And despite the fact that I managed to throw my frisbee into a pond afterwards, I can still like it. Besides, there will be other frisbees...

I liked what the movie had to say about habit. That even if we couldn't store memories we could learn something by instinct rather than a cognitive process. The more I think about it the more I have to wonder how many decisions I make during the day are based on some habit I have, whether they be conscious decisions or not.

The funniest thing I can think of is when I'm taking a shower. Every time I take one I go through the exact same motions. And if the movie is right, I've been doing them from the first time I ever took a shower. Same applies for driving to school, signing my name, and typing my passwords. For instance, if you outright asked me what my password, and if I was going to tell you, I would not be able to tell you from memory. Instead, I would have to sit at a keyboard and type it up, as over the years my passwords have become more of a "feel" and less of the words that they were originally based from.

Which makes me wonder: What information could you store in somebody without them knowing it? Or with them knowing it, but unable to use it? Reminds me of something I read a while ago about how they would show somebody a 32 digit alphanumeric password. Afterwards, they would give them a list of these type of passwords, and from that list people could pick the password, but without the list they wouldn't have a chance at reproducing it.

It also makes me wonder why people keep journals. Nobody reads them except for the writer. There's really no reason to write them, as they're not published and are rarely about anything somebody else would want to read. Granted, they can be used as a release, a way to express something that you can't otherwise get out. But this just makes them equivalent to locking yourself in a room and just yelling what's bugging you. Unless you're trying to remember something.

I'll be the first to admit that I can't remember what I was thinking about a few minutes ago. Or even seconds ago, for that matter. You could say that I'm in my own little world most of the time, pondering whatever I ponder all the time. The thing is I can't tell you what I'm thinking about because I seriously do not remember. Its just what I do when I'm idling, I either think of nothing at all, or I think of nothing I find worthwhile to commit to memory. Journals, on the other hand, are ways that I can keep track. If you read these, you'll notice that from paragraph to paragraph my attitude and tone changes. This is just because it takes me a while to write these things, and often I think back to previous paragraphs, previous ideas that I've written down (and remembered), and I want to make changes. Even this paragraph as I'm writing it is out of order.

But my point is that once I write it down, I do remember. It is a pointer, an address, a flag that can put me back in a certain state. And I think that this is what people use journals for, to take them back to a certain point to remember something important. To remember today, the day after I was ditched, the day after I stopped a bad habit, the day I have to do a shitload of homework in hopes that I'll make a dent on the things I haven't felt up to doing until now.

Interesting stuff, I must say.

Last night I went to the ASU Ultimate Frisbee club practice. Pretty fun, but its hard to adjust to a lot of the rules and strategies they play with. But not hard enough to discourage me from coming again. It made me glad to get out and do something last night. Granted, I do get out and do things occasionally, but this was somehow different. Something I can come back to, provided I stop letting the other team score. Oh well. Today I'm pretty damned sore, and my feet are killing me for playing in my near-shredded and barely tied skater shoes. Well worth it, though.

And as karma can't quite let me get away with having a good time, the LCD on my laptop went out again. Now I'm hijacking a desktop monitor and keyboard, and hoping nobody has to check their email today.